God Sees It All

     Soon, I want to start out a devotion with 'this was the greatest day!' However, today is not the day! I hate saying that any day is a bad day when God has chosen it for me and was with me through it, but it definitely was an emotional day. I had one thought that dominated my mind today. It was, "I killed a kitty!" Several weeks ago we had a starving kitty show up in our garage. We coaxed it out of the garage with food and milk. It hung around another day and was gone. I was happy that it was gone so I didn't have to feel guilty for not wanting it. I am a total dog person and have not had great experiences with cats. However, I could not see it starve without feeding it. The kitty would never get close to you so there wasn't the connection that happens when you pet it. I had a total humane love only for this kitty. After a week the kitty showed up again and was nothing but fur and bones. It was so little and fragile. Dwayne saw it again yesterday and fed it. We saw it shortly after that back in the garage and Dwayne inched the car out of the garage to make sure he did not run over it. I did the same thing this morning but I ran over it! I saw it struggling as it was dying and ran into the house hysterically crying telling Dwayne to go take care of the kitty. I lay in the floor and cried like a baby over a cat I didn't like to begin with!
     As I was driving to work I spoke out loud to God and told him how hard it was to see this kitty get hurt and die and how horrible I felt! Then God spoke out clearly to my heart and said, “Yes, I know. . . I see the horrible of horrible things every second of every day!" We often wish God would step in and make all the horrible go away but He loves us so purely, He wants us to love Him back purely and not because we were forced. That choice brings about much evil in this world and many bad and horrible things. And God sees it all! I can't imagine the pain it causes Him to see His children hurt by others or hurting others. I have to say (with no intention of being irreverent) for the first time in my life, my heart hurt for God; for all the horrendous things He sees and for all the horrible things He has seen me do!

The Lord detests the way of the wicked but he loves those who pursue righteousness.

Proverbs 15:26

God Can

     My father was an alcoholic. I hate that label and it makes me want to explain that he was a professional, successful business owner and a good father. With that said, I will finish the story. He was once in an alcoholic rehab center and the counselor used an illustration that has stuck with me and I have used with many of you. If you are one that has heard this before today, then let it serve as a reminder.  The counselor was teaching how we cannot really control life, though at times we think we can. The more we try to control life, the more we get slapped with the fact that we can't, and the more stressed out we become. The more stressful we become, the more worry takes hold of us. However, God can do what we can’t. God can do anything and everything and He has everything under control.
     To illustrate this she had all the patients make a God can. You can decorate it as much as you would like or as little as you would like. Stick it somewhere you will see it regularly. Write across it . . . GOD'S CAN! Write you worry’s on paper and put it in the can.  The rules to the God can are that you have to put your worries in the can and remember ‘God can because we can’t’! If you want to worry about the things you put in the can, you have to go get it out of the can and hold on to it.
     I have seen some amazing hurts and worries go into a God Can and it does work! When we literally have to remove a worry from the can, we are taking it from God’s care.  The can gives us a great picture of what we do spiritually all the time. We give our worries to God and then take them back! If you are worried about things then make your self a can.
Where are your worries going? God’s can or your hands?

Casting the whole of all your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, one and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.

1Peter 5:7

Are You Excited?

     Brittne is in Haiti! I can’t say that I am ready for her to be in another country again but at least it is just for two weeks this time. She went to serve alongside her boyfriend who is a missionary in Port-Au-Prince, and to spend time with him. They have grown their relationship away from each other. They were friends in Peru for many months and then a week before Parker left to transfer to Haiti, they declared their feelings for each other. For almost five months now, they have matured their relationship through letters, communication through the internet, and occasional phone calls. Their anticipation of seeing each other face to face made them delirious with joy and excitement. I wish I could have seen their faces when they saw each other.
     Watching Brittne’s anticipation of being with Parker convicted me! I entered into a relationship with Jesus Christ almost forty years ago. I have grown my relationship with him by reading his love letters to me and by our communication through the Holy Spirit.
     One day, unknown to me, I will see my Savior face to face! I say I look forward to that day, but do my actions show it? When have I had the pure joy and excitement to see Him like Brittne had to see Parker? Most of my life I have said things like, “I want Christ to return but I want to have children first! I want Christ to return but I want to see my children get married first! I want Christ to return but I want to have grandchildren first!” For the first time in my life, I can say that I want Christ to return! PERIOD! May it be today!! However, I still need to live each day anticipating Him coming on the clouds for me each moment of each day! When I lose sight of His return, I have my focus on things I don’t need them to be on! I don’t want Him to catch me off guard; I want to be ready for Him whenever the trumpets blow!

For the Lord himself will come down from heaven with a commanding shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet call of God. First, the Christians who have died will rise from their graves. Then, together with them, we who are still alive and remain on the earth will be caught up in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. Then we will be with the Lord forever. 

1Thessalonians 4:16-17

Is Satan Working In Your Life?

     I received the following email from a friend when I wrote on busyness this week. I think it is great points to ponder and do some self reflecting. Read the following words with an open heart. Let God speak to you!


Satan called a worldwide convention of demons.
     In his opening address he said, "We can't keep Christians from going to church. We can't keep them from reading their Bibles and knowing the truth.... We can't even keep them from forming an intimate relationship with Their SAVIOR. Once they gain that connection with JESUS, our power over them is broken. So, let them go to their churches; let them have their covered dish dinners, BUT steal their time, so they don't have time to develop a relationship with JESUS CHRIST."
     "This is what I want you to do, said the devil: Distract them from gaining hold of their SAVIOR and maintaining that vital connection throughout their day! How shall we do this?” his demons shouted. “Keep them busy in the non-essentials of life and invent innumerable schemes to occupy their minds. Tempt them to spend, spend, spend, and borrow, borrow, borrow. Persuade the wives to go to work for long hours and the husbands to work 6-7 days each week, 10-12 hours a day, so they can afford their empty lifestyles. Keep them from spending time with their children."
     "As their families fragment, soon, their homes will offer no escape from the pressures of work! Over-stimulate their minds so that they cannot hear that still, small voice. Entice them to play the radio or I-Pod whenever they drive...to keep the TV, DVDs, CDs and their PCs going constantly in their home and see to it that every store and restaurant in the world plays non-biblical music ...constantly. Before they know it, they will have memorized the words to songs that socialize things like drugs, alcohol, promiscuity and suicide. Their little children will be singing these songs with glee! They will have no idea about the damming words they are speaking into their lives!”
     “It will seer their conscience and will harden their hearts. This will sow seeds of doubt and CONFUSION. They will rebel against Christian morals and values, declaring them ‘Old Testament’ ...inappropriate ... unrelated and irrelevant for their day and age. It will jam their minds and break their union with CHRIST. Fill their coffee tables with magazines and newspapers. Pound their minds with the news 24 hours a day. Invade their driving moments with billboards."
     "Flood their mailboxes with junk mail, mail order catalogs, sweepstakes, and every kind of newsletter and promotional offering free products, services and false hopes. Ooh FALSE HOPE...that’s good! Fill their thoughts with winning millions at the Casinos or playing the Lottery instead of seeing HIM as their source. Entice them to use the money they can’t afford to spend and leave them struggling to cover essentials. This will cause strife in their families and sow seeds of bitterness and resentment!”
     "Keep beautiful well-built females and handsome muscled-up males on the magazines, movies, internet and TV so they will believe that outward beauty is what's important, and they'll become dissatisfied with their husband/wife or feel inadequate themselves. Plaster the internet with pornography so ALL can view it and be enticed at the click of their mouse.”
     "Keep them too tired to spend intimate time together with their husband/wife to nurture their marriage relationships. It will make them feel unloved, lonely and neglected and they will begin to look elsewhere. That will fragment their families quickly!"
     “The enhanced and airbrushed images will make the young girls think they have to dress provocatively and have cosmetic surgeries. Young boys will believe they must use steroids. Both sexes will think they need suggestive and seductively placed tattoos or piercings to be appealing. They will waste their time and money, and jeopardize their health, in a futile effort to achieve an unrealistic image of perfection. This is great because they can never be satisfied with their aging human bodies! They will become increasingly self-centered and oblivious to the human needs around them.”
     “They will never achieve the REAL satisfaction that comes from loving their neighbor as they love themselves. Give them Santa Claus to distract them from teaching their children the real meaning of Christmas. Give them an Easter bunny so they won't talk about HIS resurrection and power over sin and death..."
     “Even in their recreation, let them be excessive. Have them return from their vacations and free-time exhausted. Keep them too busy to go out in nature and reflect on GOD'S creation. Send them to amusement parks, sporting events, plays, concerts, and movies instead. Keep them busy, busy, busy!"
     "And when they meet for spiritual fellowship, involve them in gossip and small talk so that they leave with troubled consciences. For those that do try to be selfless and help others, crowd their lives with so many good and worthy causes they have no time to seek power from JESUS. Soon they will be working in their own strength, sacrificing their health and family for the good of the cause."
"It will work!"
"It will work!"
It was quite a plan!
     The demons went eagerly to their assignments causing Christians everywhere to get busier; more rushed, going here and there ... Having little time for their GOD or their families ... Having no time to tell others about the power of JESUS to change lives.

Let’s make this more personal!
Am I distracted from growing in my intimate relationship with the Lord?
How much time did I spend thinking of my work versus thinking of the Lord?
How much time did you spend thinking about new stuff you want to buy or do?
How much time did you spend with your children (quality time)!
Is your home a haven from the world?
How much quiet have you had today?
Did you sing more Christian songs or worldly songs this week?
Have you had thoughts of doubt in the goodness of God recently?
Do you live by what the world says or by what God says?
Where is your hope? On your job? Or with Jesus?
Do you live within your means?
Does your home, walls, bookshelves, coffee table show you are a child of God?
Is there bitterness, anger, hurt, and resentment in your homes?
Do you take every advantage to teach your children about God?
Do you lust over other people other than you spouse?
Have you spent time growing your intimacy with your spouse today?
When was the last time you reached out to someone in love?
Are you tired?
Are you busy all the time?
When was the last time you rested?
The last time you went to church, did you talk to someone about how great God is?
Are you working in your own strength?
Is Satan’s scheme working in your life?

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

Ephesians 6:12

Holding on Tight!

    Tonight at Fusion, we had our back to school concert for the local colleges. The highlight for the students was the drawing for six lap top computers. The highlight for me was hearing the ‘Historic Baptist Gospel Singers’. It always moves me to hear a gospel choir. I love the spontaneousness of their singing and worship. They sang a song that really echoed in my heart. The words were, “Sometimes we feel like giving up . . . that is when God holds on tight to me so I don’t let go!”

      It made me think about the time Dwayne and I took our small children to the State Fair! It was a place where they could get lost really easy and very quickly. I don’t even know how you would find them if they got lost. It was a place that I held on tight to them. My grip never loosened. Bryce had an elbow that if pulled just right would easily become dislocated. If he jerked away when I had a good hold of him, he would pull his arm out of socket and would not be able to use his arm until we got him to the doctor. Though I knew that holding on tight to him would cause him pain if he tried to pull away, I still did not relax my grip when we were at the fair. Hurting him temporarily was a better choice to me than letting him get away from me and experience unimaginable danger.
     Thank God that He does not relax his hold on me. Though I might try to pull away because of anger, hurt, or being preoccupied, He doesn’t let go of me. Though His grip can bring temporary discomfort, it will keep me safe until I once again wholeheartedly walk beside him hand in hand.

For He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not, [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let (you) down (relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!]

Hebrews 13:5

What Are Your Plans for Tomorrow!

   Today was a really hard day! Once again I was reminded that we are not guaranteed we will have life beyond this breath! Before I went to bed last night, I checked my email and then read a message that a classmate of mine had died. I do not know the reason except she died in a nursing home. This morning I checked my email again, (something I never do) and read about another classmate that died last night. This classmate was a good friend in high school. We were Pom Pom girls together. I enjoyed seeing her at my class reunion last fall and we promised to get together soon. I looked on her Facebook page to see if I could see what happened to her and I read her last status. A few weeks ago she had said her mama heart was heavy for her youngest son. I was very busy that week with many situations that raised its head in my world and I didn’t see her post. If I had, maybe I would have responded to her and given her some encouragement. I do not know why she died but I sit here today evaluating my life. Busyness kept me from following through with the promise to get together. Busyness kept me from giving her some encouragement.

     What else am I going to let busyness steal from me? As I am getting closer to the fifty mark, I am evaluating life more. I don’t have an endless supply of time left to do the things I want to do, or to love all the people I want to love. In fact, I don’t know if I will have another day.
     This is why we have to learn to grab hold of each day and never take it for granted or waste it! If we feel the spirit lead us to minister to someone, we need to do it quickly while we still have the opportunity. We need to eliminate the junk in our life and grab hold of the ministry God brings our way.

What do you know about tomorrow? How can you be so sure about your life? It is nothing more than mist that appears for only a little while before it disappears.

James 4:14

Serve With What You Got!

     Dwayne, Brittne and I went to the rodeo Saturday night. I have only been to a rodeo four times in my life. It was a great evening and actually was cooler than normal; in the low 90’s! The rodeo was free and sponsored by a local church. The church performed an intermission precision riding routine with horses and riders. They presented the second coming of Christ. They had a man riding a horse with a sword representing Christ and other riders with banners representing angels while Scripture on the rapture was read as they performed.
     What stood out to me the most is how these people took their love for horses and riding and worshipped the Lord with it. They used their ability to share the Word and salvation to a large crowd of people.
     What abilities do you have? What are your skills? What things do you love to do? How could you use those things to serve the Lord or spread His Word?

If any of you wants to serve me, then follow me. Then you’ll be where I am, ready to serve at a moment’s notice. The Father will honor and reward anyone who serves me.

John 12:26

Are You A Hoarder?

     Have you ever watched one of those hoarding shows? I have watched them many times and always feel bewildered at why someone would choose to live as a prisoner of their home and their belongings. I have had several family members be minor hoarders but nothing that robbed them of their life. These shows show people who have lost all liveability of their home. They can’t walk through rooms or cook a meal. Many times their stuff even takes over their bathroom. Trash usually is mixed in with the items of obsession. Today’s show had a woman who only could enter her home through the back door and then had to squeeze through it. She could not use her refrigerator or her oven. Hoarders always panic when people go through their stuff and they have melt downs when they have to face getting rid of something they might need one day. The sad thing is they can’t enjoy their things because they are piled into rooms they can’t get into; so how important can they be? Their hoarding cost them their freedom to enjoy their life, their home, and their friends. Spouses usually threaten to leave and take their children with them before the hoarder begins to understand there is a problem. They are volunteer slaves to themselves.
     It makes me wonder what we would see if we could visit a person’s heart. Even worse, if Jesus knocked on the door of your heart, is there room for Him to come in? Would He find your heart in order or are you hoarding things. Do you have emotions, hurt, anger hoarded up in corners or closets of your heart? Have you taken all the things you love to the extreme and have them hoarded up in the rooms in your heart? Does Jesus have room to live or maneuver through your heart? Will you melt down if Jesus tells you to get rid of some things in your life?
      He can help you get things cleared out but you have to be willing to part with the things that are robbing you of experiencing true freedom in Christ. Things will never satisfy. Hurt and anger will never give security and comfort. You must keep your heart clean to allow it to be possessed by the One who owns it! Don’t choose things or emotions over having a relationship with Jesus!

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Matthew 6:19-21

What Kind of Jesus Do You Have?

     We have never met Brittne’s boyfriend, Parker. He is serving the Lord in Haiti. He has been away from his parents now for a year and he has another year to go. They started a short-term family tradition while he is away for two years. They made a small cardboard man who they refer to as ‘flat Parker’. ‘Flat Parker’ goes to football games with them, family dinners, and hunting trips, as their way to include their son. It is as if he is with them all the time; but I am sure that their hearts know he really isn’t!
     Brittne met his parents last week and she will see them again this week. They gave her ‘flat Parker’ to bring home if she would like to take some pictures with him. We have been having so much fun posing for the “Parker Meets the Thompson’s” album. We made him work to earn our daughter. We are a biblical family and if Jacob could work for Rachel, then we feel our daughter is worth a little work! Haha He has had to do the laundry, iron, paint, cook, serve, do dishes, mow, water, shine Dwayne's shoes and exercise for Dwayne! I think I want to keep ‘flat Parker’ around!
    It is so easy and fun to include 'flat Parker' in our lives. We have to remind ourselves that it really isn’t him. There is no communication, no getting to know each other, no growing trust or love. It is just a symbol of Parker. It makes me think of how many Christians live with a ‘flat Jesus’. They treat Him as a cardboard figure. It is just a symbol they put in the events of life, but they do not really know Jesus personally. They do not communicate with Him, get to know His ways, or grow in their relationship of trust and love. Yet, they would tell you that they love Jesus! However, they never get pass a one dimensional relationship with Him!

     Today, I want you to analyze yourself. Do you just have a ‘flat Jesus’ as a symbol of trying to be religious? Is your relationship with Him one dimensional? Or do you have a two-way relationship with the real, alive, life changing Jesus Christ?

     Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’

Matthew 7:22-23

What Kind of Relationship Do You Have With Jesus?

     We have never met Brittne’s boyfriend, Parker. He is serving the Lord in Haiti. He has been away from his parents now for a year and he has another year to go. They started a short-term family tradition while he is away for the two years he is away. They made a small cardboard man who they refer to as ‘flat Parker’. ‘Flat Parker’ goes to football games with them, family dinners, and hunting trips, as their way to include their son. It is as if he is with them all the time; but I am sure that their hearts know he really isn’t!
      Brittne met his parents last week and she will see them again this week. They gave her ‘flat Parker’ to bring home if she would like to take some pictures with him. We have been having so much fun posing for the “Parker Meets the Thompson’s” album. We made him work to earn our daughter. We are a biblical family and if Jacob could work for Rachel, then we feel our daughter is worth a little work! Haha He has had to do the laundry, iron, paint, cook, serve, do dishes, mow, water, shine Dwayne's shoes and exercise for Dwayne! I think I want to keep ‘flat Parker’ around!
     It is so easy and fun to include 'flat Parker' in our lives. We have to remind ourselves that it really isn’t him. There is no communication, no getting to know each other, no growing trust or love. It is just a symbol of Parker. It makes me think of how many Christians live with a ‘flat Jesus’. They treat Him as a cardboard figure. It is just a symbol they put in the pictures of life, but they do not really know Jesus personally. They do not communicate with Him, get to know His ways, or grow in their relationship of trust and love. Yet, they would tell you that they love Jesus! They never get pass a one dimensional relationship with Him!
     Today, I want to you analyze yourself. Do you just have a ‘flat Jesus’ as a symbol of trying to be religious? Is your relationship with Him one dimensional? Or do you have a two-way relationship with the real, alive, life changing Jesus Christ?

Knowing the correct password –saying ‘Master, Master,’ for instance – isn’t going to get you anywhere with me. What is required is serious obedience—doing what my Father wills. I can see it now – at the Final Judgment thousands strutting up to me and saying, ‘Master, we preached the Message, we bashed the demons, our God-sponsored projects had everyone talking.’ And do you know what I am going to say? “You missed the boat. All you did was use me to make yourselves important. You don’t impress me one bit. You’re out of here.’

Matthew 7:22-23

Don't Cut God!

     This world is too busy!! It affects all of us and every time I think it is going to get better, reality hits and I have to face the fact that it doesn’t! I have had every night and every day filled for weeks and the end is not in sight. Everything gets out of control when schedules get full. The home seem out of order, the relationships are strained, the ‘to do’ list gets long, and stress grows to a breaking point.
     This craziness has become the way of life for the vast majority of people. The older I get the more I want it to stop! The good news is the older I get, the more it is slowing down at times. Not enough times, but a few more breaks. For many years I have believed that Satan's tactic on Christians is to get them too busy! Too busy to serve, too busy to minister, and too busy to spend time with God. It takes time to get to know God through prayer, and study, and fellowship.
     The worse thing about busyness is that many Christians cut God out of their schedule first. Have you ever been so busy all day Saturday that you skipped church to have some time to rest? Why didn’t you cut the things on Saturday so you could protect your time to worship? May we all get to the point that when the busyness and craziness of life hits us, we cut anything and everything but God!

“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

Psalm 46:10

The Picture of Marriage!

     I have not yet told you about the great day I had with my husband on Saturday. We went to Tulsa for the day to play for our anniversary. We went shopping, had a massage, went to a great dinner, and went swimming at the home of friend’s who were out of town. (No details will be provided!) It was a great day celebrating 29 years of marriage.
     Dwayne has been the man I have loved since I was 16 years old. I have grown up with him; physically, spiritually, and emotionally. He is my closest friend, my deepest love, my strong leader, my spiritual teacher, my life partner, my wise co-parent, my perfect completer, and my God given gift.
     When I step back and look at my marriage over the last 29 years, it is a very interesting and wonderful picture. It is a canvas which has been painted by us. It has many colors and textures. It shows our goodness and our ugliness. It shows the different roads our life has taken. It shows an array of feelings and experiences. It has its valleys and its mountain tops. It has accomplishments, setbacks and failures. It has heartbreaks and pure joy, love and disgust, excitement and boredom, closeness and separation, adventure and ruts, projects completed and projects unfinished, happiness and anger, passion and routine, tears and laughter. Though it has ugly spots, it is beautiful to me and I cherish every stroke. However, I never forget that the real beauty of this painting is not the part we painted. The real beauty comes from the hand of God. He has glazed the entire picture with His grace. It is His power, His love, and His mercy in our lives that will continue our ‘work of art’ until the last brush stroke is done, the masterpiece is completed, and one of us goes to the presence of God and lays our painting at the feet of Jesus!
     May we never lose sight of what picture we want to lay at the feet of Christ! Do we want it completed? Do we want it full of hatred and void of forgiveness? Do we want His hand of grace to be prevalent? It is our gift back to Him; may it be a masterpiece of the Master’s work!

So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life – your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life, and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him.

Romans 12:1

Working For God

     Being in HR I deal with all sorts of employees. I hear, see, and evaluate whether an employee is a ‘good’ employee or a ‘bad’ employee. One thing that gets a person on the ‘bad’ list is not being able to apply knowledge. Some people learn the process, procedures, or the policies but they can’t apply it. Frustrated trainers will say things like, “you know this!”, “what did you learn?”, “we’ve gone over this many times”, “what do you not get?” . Still no progress is made. They simply do not trust themselves enough or they do not recognize the problem to remember the solution. These employees are doomed to be stuck in their position forever, demoted, or terminated. Somewhere along the way they have to ‘get it’ if they want to keep their job.
     If we applied the above to our walk with Jesus, what kind of 'employees' would we be? Jesus said that He was about His Father’s business. We should follow the lead of Jesus and be about our Father’s business as well. However, it seems there's a problem with the majority of Christians. Everything they hear in a sermon, or everything they read is just information to them. It doesn't appear that they apply it. Some don’t want to because it's too hard, some can’t recognize a problem coming, some can’t recognize Satan working, and some just don’t remember what they are taught. These Christians face a shallow life as a Christian. They will never experience the joy and love that comes from obedience and following the teachings of Christ. They won’t experience the victory of kicking Satan’s butt. They won’t experience deliverance from a trial. They won’t experience the peace of walking with Jesus down the path of blessings.
     What kind of 'employee' are you for God? There is no greater 'pay' than to work for God! Though we will never get fired from God, do we want to bring honor to him in the way we work? Think about what you have learned about God in the last month . . . how much of it did you apply to your life? Why learn about the ways of God if you are not going to apply them to your life? Don’t just be a hearer of the Word, be a doer! Apply your knowledge!

     Merely hearing God’s law is a waste of time if you don’t do what He commands. Doing, not hearing, is what makes the difference with God.

Romans 2:13

God Answers

     Every month, Dwayne deposits his payroll check and takes out our spending cash for the month. Last March, he set my money on my dresser which is in our closet. It set there for a few days and when I went to get it, it was gone. I looked everywhere for it: in the drawers, on the shelves, and in every pocket of the clothes I had worn that week. I finally just accepted that I must have thrown it away or it would show up when I needed it more.
     Saturday, when Dwayne and I spent the day celebrating our anniversary, I decided to take a different purse. I reached up on my top shelf and grabbed the purse I wanted. As I pulled it down another purse fell off the self and hit me right on the bridge of my nose. I spent a few minutes laughing and crying and then hurried out the door.
     Brittne and I are going to take a long mother/daughter weekend trip to see my sister in New York City. I have been saving and budgeting for this trip and I keep remembering the lost money. I have been praying asking God to show me or remind me where the money is. I keep saying, “God this would be a really good time to find my money!”
     Yesterday, I was cleaning up my closet and was putting the purses that fell and hit me back on the shelf. One purse seemed to be really heavy and so I looked inside it. It was completely loaded. It had all the typical purse stuff and my billfold. I started cleaning it out and when I opened what I thought was an empty billfold, there was my money! Are you kidding me? I never remember carrying the purse the week I lost the money. I found a ticket in my purse to a show I went to in March. I must have taken that purse to the show and then forgot about it. This is why I am not one of those women who change out my purse every day!
     I am not surprised that God answered my prayer and showed me where my money was. However, I do not know if He has ever literally knocked me upside the head with it before! lol God has helped me find many missing things that would have been impossible to find without His intervention. God does care about our little every day things. My children have never hesitated to ask me to help them find things or do things. They know that as a parent, I want to help them even with the little things. God is the perfect parent. Why would our perfect Father not want to help us? He is totally capable of taking care of the world and us too!

Please listen, God, and answer my prayer!

Psalm 61:1

Which Direction Are You Going?

     Have you driven in a tunnel? I love tunnels for some unknown reason. The longer they are the better and more fascinating I think they are! That is one of the reasons I like New York City: it is full of tunnels. One thing tunnels have in common is they have lights in them so you can see where you are going!
     Can you imagine what it would be like to drive through a long tunnel with no lights anywhere? It would be a very scary and an overwhelming fear factor. Imagine with me you are traveling through a long, pitch black tunnel. At a point of panic, you see a light ahead of you directing you through the challenge. All you have to do is follow the light. That seems pretty easy until the road forks and now you are faced with a decision. You can follow the light in a direction that leads to a place you really do not want to go. However, if you continue to follow the light, you know the light will stay with you and give you comfort and security. The other choice you have is to go the direction that leads to where you really want to go. However, the light is not going with you. You will have to travel alone and when you get through the tunnel you will find yourself still in darkness. What choice will you make?
     Now imagine that tunnel as one of life’s challenges. It seems as if you are going down a long deep tunnel, and you feel scared and overwhelmed and almost to a point of panic. Then you hear the voice of Jesus gently directing you through. You are relieved to follow . . . until the fork in the road! You and your flesh want to go one way; usually the easy way which will take you somewhere you want to go. But Jesus leads us the other way; usually what we think is the harder way. We only think it is harder because we have to leave our flesh behind. However, we know that if we want to follow Jesus, and not our flesh, we have to follow Him no matter where He leads. What choice are you going to make?
     I see this decision played out in life all the time. For example: You are in a hurtful position. You have to follow your anger and your hurt which will only take to the land of bitterness, or you lay aside your flesh and follow the Lord who will lead you to forgiveness and blessing. But do we really want to forgive?
     What tunnel are you in? Which direction are you going to go? With Jesus you will have light in your tunnel as long as you follow Him. Go another direction and you will experience true blackness. The great thing about following Jesus is that we do not have to wait for the light at the end of the tunnel . . . the Light is with us all the way through!

By your words I can see where I’m going; they throw a beam of light on my dark path.

Psalm 119:105

Do You Love Jesus?

    One of life’s biggest stresses for me is when I know I need to respect someone for their position but in reality, I do not have an ounce of respect for them. It is especially hard if the lack of respect I feel for them is due to their inability to demonstrate God’s principles, God’s love, or God’s grace. I want to respond to their ungodliness with ungodliness. My tongue usually swells from biting it! My flesh wants to tell them what I think of them and how their behavior is not God pleasing. I try to tell myself and manipulate my mind by saying, “Sometimes God calls us to be His hands and sometimes He calls us to be His mouth!” Then the Spirit convicts me and I know that God does not need my mouth. I realize that I can hate their behavior but I cannot hate them. God expects me to love in all circumstances and to all people. I am sure that Jesus did not respect the Pharisees or Herod, but He submitted to their position to His death.
      Let me assure you that when I am in these situations, I cannot love within my own power. The only way I can love is to let God love through me! I can’t say that I love God and then not let Him love through me. So today there is only one question . . . Do you love God by loving others?

If anyone boasts, "I love God," and goes right on hating his brother or sister, thinking nothing of it, he is a liar. If he won't love the person he can see, how can he love the God he can't see? The command we have from Christ is blunt: Loving God includes loving people. You've got to love both.

1John 4:20-21

Do Your Wounds Show?

     Well, my body is still recovering from my blundering fall last Saturday. My arms are so sore I can barely lift them. I have bruises on my left arm and hand and I have a scab on my right elbow and big toe. Everything is sore and aching. My knee is better than it was but it is still swollen. It seems to swell at night. My knee is very tender and now the bruising is coming with full vengeance. The bruise on the left of my knee is about the size of my hand and the right side on my knee is starting to marbleize; it is going to combine into an interesting picture. I cannot stand to wear jeans or pants over my knee, so I wear shorts each day. With the dark bruising there will be no way to hide my knee which means I have to explain to everyone what happened.
     It makes me wish I could see people’s spiritual and emotional bruises, wounds, and scares. It would be nice if the person that ticks me off with their rudeness had their wounds visual; maybe then I would be quicker to show kindness and grace. Most people that frustrate us have wounds that are causing their behavior. We tend to live by the saying out of sight, out of mind. So, if we don’t see their hurts we forget the fact that they are causing side effects for the person we are dealing with. We let our emotions blind us to needs.
     The solution is what it always is; we must surrender daily to the Holy Spirit. We do not have to see their hurts because Jesus knows all of them and if He is leading us, He is responding to them through us. We will be responding in a manner that will be ministering to them. Have you surrendered to the Holy Spirit today? Or did you surrender to your emotions?

My people are broken – shattered! – and they put on band-aids, Saying, ‘It’s not so bad. You’ll be just fine.’ But things are not ‘just fine’!

Jeremiah 8:11

What Are You Doing With Today!

Good News! Today is a new day! What are you going to do with it?

     Yesterday was an emotionally hard day for me. It was one that left me numb at the end of the day. Thank God not all days are like that. Some are hard, some are happy, some are challenging, some are uneventful, some are exciting, and some are boring. We can never be for sure how they will turn out! Some days we feel we get tons done and some days we feel like we got nothing done. In the long run, I have learned it really doesn’t matter. If I look back over my years (which are adding up fast), the work I have done whether in my jobs, or the church, or my home, has passed and is forgotten. In some cases, it has been redone. All the effort, stress, time, worry, and accomplishments were in the end . . . all for nothing. The only thing that has lasted over time is the impact and the difference I have made with people.
     We can bury our heads in the events and work of the day and when we lay our head on our pillow that night, ask ourselves if we made a difference with the day God gave us. If we seek to minister and encourage someone, we will know we made a difference with the day God gave us.
     Can you remember all the things you did a month ago? Can you remember how you touched someone last month? Be a good steward of this day, find someone that is hurting and make a difference in their life. Love them for Jesus!

“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ “The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’"

Matthew 25:37-40

Sacrifice or Privildge?

     Many months ago I wrote on the sacrifice of praise and since then I have continued to ponder the true meaning of sacrifice for God. If everything I have is from the Lord, how can I sacrifice something that wasn’t mine to begin with? While I was in Peru, I saw they were void of the day-to-day stuff that we call blessings. I questioned why I deserve anything when most of the world has nothing.  So, I asked myself; how can I sacrifice something that I don’t deserve to have to begin with? In addition, how can I sacrifice anything of value to the God who owns it all?  The definition for sacrifice is, ‘the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim’. There are lots of things that I have prized or desired: having a husband whom I didn’t have to share with others, being able to attend my uncles funeral, having my daughter closer for the last two years, etc. However, Jesus' call and directions for our family is a higher and more pressing claim than anything my heart could desire.         
     Now we know what sacrifice is but scripture speaks of us giving a sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving. When I give up something that is important to me because Jesus is more important, that is my sacrifice to Him.  When I do it not as an obligation or an act of manipulation, but with a heart of thankfulness to Him for what He does for me and with a heart of praise, then my act becomes a sacrifice of praise. As always, God wants our grateful hearts not just our sacrifice.
     Here are some examples of a sacrifice of praise: joyously giving financially to God to thank Him for all He gives to us; giving Him our time in private and corporate praise to Him showing the priority He has in our life; to give up time with those we love in order for them to serve Him and to appreciate the honor of seeing them in His will; to fix a relationship with someone because glorifying Him is more important than our rights or hurt feelings; to give Him the praise for our accomplishments because showing Him off to the world is better than showing our self off; serving others in the most inconvenient time with a loving heart because we know that when we serve others, we are serving God and everything in our lives belong to Him (including our schedules or wants, etc.).
     What is important to you: money, time, relationships? Is Jesus more important than these things? What do you sacrifice for God?  What kind of heart do you offer for your sacrifice? Brittne shared a statement Sunday made by Jerry Rankin who said, “Why do we consider anything a sacrifice when Jesus saw it a privilege to die on the cross for us."  Is your sacrifice a privilege to give?

Through Him, therefore, let us constantly and at all times offer up to God a sacrifice of praise, which is the fruit of lips that thankfully acknowledge and confess and glorify His name.

Hebrews 13:15

Not another one!

    A few months ago, I wrote on the falls in my life for almost three weeks. I really was concerned that I would have a great fall during those times to be my grand finale for that series. I did not fall though and was relieved. I wrote about 20 falls. Well, hold on . . . now I can share with you number twenty-one! It was a great weekend. Bryce and Kristen came into town and Brittne and Kristen were spending Saturday morning together. I was going to meet up with them for lunch at 11:30. On my way, Brittne called and said they were going to be late. I decided that I had time to get gas and wash my car that I had been teased about for being so dirty. I went through a automatic car wash next to the manual bays. It was an automatic bay with open ends. The inside of my car needed to be cleaned as well as the outside. I had a dry rag in the car and I had a great idea (so I thought). I threw my dry rag in the bay behind the sprayers before the wash began. I thought this would allow me to get my rag wet and then when the car wash was done, my rag would be wet and I could retrieve it and wash the inside of my car. The plan worked perfectly up to the retrieving part. When the wash was over, I pulled out of the bay and went in to get my rag. I was hurrying and when my flip flopped feet hit the wet, moldy, mossy cement; my body went crashing into the cement floor, cinder block walls, and big metal sprayer. The instant thought in my mind was, “I am too old for these kinds of falls, and it is not going to be pretty!” Humility inspired me up on my feet though I was dripping with water and mold. I immediately looked around to see if there was an audience to my performance. Nobody was present though a car had just pulled up to the purchase screen for the automatic car wash. I made it back to my car and wanted to sit there and cry for a while but I had to get my car moved for the person behind me. I pulled forward and used my rag on myself. I had to wash off the mold and dirt off my hands, arms, and legs. Though my complete body hurt, my hand dominated in the pain level; the area under my pinkie to my wrist, swelled up with bluish tones and pounded out the beat of my heart. I pulled it together enough to drive to lunch and by the time lunch was over, I thought I would live. When I got home I shared with Bryce and Dwayne my new episode of clumsiness and proceeded to get my lecture of how you NEVER go into an automatic car wash. I don’t want to underestimate the hand of God in his creation of me, but I did not get as much logic as I think others got! I worked in the garage with the boys trying to get it in order and when I was done I went into Brittne’s room to check on her. As I was sitting on her bed, I decided to scope out the damage to my body and look for bruises. I picked up my pant leg and went into a panic of shock! I had never seen anything look like my knee did. I could feel the uncontrolled swelling taking place but since it looked so weird, Brittne and I were cracking up. We called Bryce in to look at his mother’s injury. I thought I would win some toughness points for having had worked in the heat with a deformed knee but he did not think it was funny and immediately made me get on the couch and put my knee up so he could wrap my knee in ice. I hate ice! He made me do what I hated to do in order to stop things from getting worse.

     There are two spiritual applications that can be made with this story. First, there are many times we do not see the consequences of our spiritual falls, our sin, until a certain point down the road. The consequences can shock us because we may have thought we got by without having to pay a big price. We must remember that we never ‘get by’ God. He sees everything and we will always pay the price for our bad decisions! There is no hiding from the One who sees everything! The other lesson is that it sometimes takes someone else to see the severity of the situation. We can be laughing and seeing the fun in our behavior and God can send another person to show us that the ‘fun’ can explode on you and you will end up with a serious situation.
     Are there sins in your life that you have thought you got by God? Or are you now reaping the consequences of past sin? Are there sins in your life that you are enjoying and think are fun? The ‘fun’ of those sins will pass and you will end up with serious consequences if you do not repent and change. Has God sent someone in your life to help you see the real situation you are facing? Are they willing to help you make things better? Are you listening?

This is no light matter. God has warned us that he’ll hold us to account and make us pay.
He was quite explicit: "Vengeance is mine, and I won’t overlook a thing,” and,
 “God will judge his people.” Nobody’s getting by with anything, believe me.

Hebrews 10:30-31

Responses

     Have you ever had to bite your tongue off to keep from responding the wrong way to someone’s hatefulness? Do you ever get jealous at some peoples freedom to act anyway they choose and everyone just say, “Oh, that is just how they are?”
     I experienced those feelings the other day. Within 30 minutes two good friends of mine decided to take out their anger and frustrations on me. One friend just snubbed me in front of another friend and the other one exploded at the person I was with but somehow directed her rage at me. I tried in both cases to make it right, but the one who snub me didn’t have her phone and the other one wasn’t going to hear of it. I have to tell you that I am not the personality type to just give people time. I want to fix it and make up as soon as possible. However, I am learning to not push and give people time to let the Lord deal with their hearts. Within the day the first friend apologized. I had to wait three long days for the second one to apologize but it was worth to know that I did not push the apology and she gave it on her own accord.
      It took a lot of prayer and trust in the Lords ability to speak to my friend’s heart. After I did not receive the apology the next day, my flesh wanted to tell her off and demand her to be sorrowful. The flesh always takes us down the wrong path, so I am very pleased that I did not listen to it. I do not always stifle my flesh but it is something I am working very hard to to habitually achieve. I would like to be more in control of my fleshly responses before I am 50 years old. It is time I have more control over it than it has over me!

Don’t be hateful to people just because they are hateful to you.

Rather, be good to each other and to everyone else.

1 Thessalonians 5:15

Do You Remember?

     I wasn't able to give you the details to my 'getting my house ready for Brittne' because it consisted of totally redoing her bedroom which was a surprise for her. She had a french theme, girlie room with dresses and heels. Somehow, after spending two years in the villages of Peru, it didn't seem to reflect her. So, I redid her room in a very South American feel. What is special about it is I was able to use all of her memorabilia from her travels in the decor. She has things from Egypt, Spain, Holland, Bolivia, Peru, Uruguay, and Mexico. I printed and framed the pictures that she took from her travels. Everywhere she looks in her room, she is reminded of special times and special memories. I am so happy she loves it and it brings her comfort during her transition stage back to America.

     It makes me wish I could have spiritual reminders around me. Memorabilia that would make me remember the commitments I have made, or the blessings I have received, or the special times God spoke to me in a powerful way. Maybe if I had these reminders around me constantly, I wouldn't forget about them. It always frustrates me how fast we forget the great things but hold on to the bad things in life. Many times it is music that serves as reminders to me. I was saved to "I Surrender All", I rededicated my life to "A Savior is Waiting", Dwayne's call to the ministry was confirmed to me with "God Just Needs A Few Good Men", and "All in All" represents our life in Montana. However, I don't hear these songs very often and so I forget and my focus camps out with my present situations. Maybe I should make me a CD of all the songs that represent my spiritual journey and play them continually. God tells us over and over in scripture to remember and not to forget the work He has done in our lives. Maybe He had to tell us multiple times because He knew we would forget.
     How often do you remember the milestones in your spiritual life and the work God has done in you? What memorabilia or reminders could you build in your life to help you not forget? Remember His miracles, His wonders, and His perfect and just decisions.

Remember all the wonders he performed, the miracles and judgments that came out of his mouth. 

1 Chronicles 16:12

Day of Thankfulness

    Two years ago I drove my daughter to the airport and said goodbye as she left to serve God in Peru. When I say ‘goodbye’, I don’t mean 'see you soon'. I had to put her totally in God’s hands (where she had actually been all along) and be prepared for whatever God chose. If you see some of the buses and some of the one lane, cliff side, mountain roads, you would understand why I had to be prepared for anything. A month before Brittne got to Peru, a summer missionary was killed in a car wreck. I could not assume I would see her come home. However, today the two years are up and I am going to the same airport to bring her home! It is a blessing I do not take for granted. I am thankful and humbled. I look forward to seeing where God leads her next. I know it will not be an easy transition because it is never easy to pour your heart into something and then leave it; not to mention the culture difference. I know she would appreciate your prayers!
     Do you have anybody you need to place in God’s hands and trust His will, His plan, and His love for them? Maybe it is a child. Maybe a husband. Maybe parents or grandparents. Maybe it is yourself! I cannot promise you any end result except whatever happens in their life has been filtered through the loving fingers of God!

So trust him absolutely, people; lay your lives on the line for him. God is a safe place to be.

Psalms 62:8

Need to Rest?

     Do you need to Rest in the Lord?
     Okay, I am going to let you off the hook today! I know I have written some long devotions this last week, so today’s is going to be short. Don’t be shocked! I am in such a weird place today. I can’t seem to focus on anything. I have a list of things to do but I can’t get focused enough to get them done. My mind keeps skipping around to Brittne being home in 36 hours, Bryce and Kristen coming this weekend, work, the preparations I need to do for an upcoming church event, the unfinished projects in the house, the bladder infection that hit hard today, the flower beds that needs to be ridden of weeds (again!), and flowers screaming to be watered due to the heat! The problem is, I need to write a devotion and I can’t settle my mind enough to focus on hearing God’s voice in the midst of all the other words bouncing around in my head. Usually His voice is very clear in directing my typing fingers but today, all that I hear Him saying is to talk about the times when we are unfocused. So, I am being completely open with you and letting you know that I am unfocused. Nothing like taking your problem and making it your solution! lol
     What do we do when we can’t hear God through the noise of life or the noise in our heads? We rest in Him. We climb up in His lap, snuggle in, and let His comfort and peace calm our thinking. When our thinking calms, we can begin to hear His voice again and will be mentally, spiritually, and physically refreshed.
    The longer we take to not rest in Him, the longer we will go not hearing His voice. I am learning to rest quickly when I need it because I don’t like going one day without hearing Him!

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life.  I'll show you how to take a real rest.

Matthew 11:28

Stages of Life

     It is finally hitting me that I am going to be a grandmother! I don’t know if it is because we now know it is a girl, or because so many young adults that I care for are pregnant for the first time, or because my life has slowed down enough to soak it all in, or because I spent the whole weekend, cleaning and reordering my home to have a guest room/ baby room; but whatever the reason. . . I am getting really excited! Besides excitement, I am feeling a deep sense of reflection. Looking back over my years raising children, I wished so much of that time away and didn’t appreciate the moments of the turning calendar. During the pregnancy period (which I happen to believe is one of the most precious times of my life!) I lived with anticipation of what was to come. Anticipating a new stage in life and the journey of marriage. Anticipating a baby to love and nurture. However, soon the anticipation turned into a feeling of being totally overwhelmed. How was I going to do this? What if I do the wrong thing? I have never had another living thing so dependent on me, what if I forget to do something: so much to do, so much stuff, so much to remember and worry about! Soon, you get your feet under you and then you enter toddler time. Now you are frustrated. Will they ever shut up? Will they ever be still? Can you just have some time for yourself? Can I just go to the bathroom by myself? Soon they start growing up and doing things on their own and they enter childhood and school days. Then you are hit with busyness which produces exhaustion. There is no more chilling at home in the evenings. There are school activities, sports, birthday parties, lessons, church activities, etc. Life is a whirlwind. The cute little babies are now weird creatures living in your home beginning the process of independence. Just when you think it can’t get worse . . . it does! You enter the endurance period of teenagers! This is the time you experience complete madness! Though my children were fairly good for teenagers, these are the days that I would not live over even if I could. The best explanation for these years I have ever heard is at 13 years old they lose their brains and they get 20% back each year until they reach 18. I can’t really explain these years! If you have lived through them, you understand. If you haven’t, all that love you feel for that adorable baby that you think will explode inside you, will endure you through this time! lol You go from one extreme to another when they leave for college, or work, or the armed services. You go from madness to sadness. You miss them in your life. You feel their pulling away and their independence. You wonder how often they will fit you into their lives. They go from demanding your attention daily, to setting up boundaries around their lives. It is a transition that carries on to them living totally on their own and the empty nest years begin. Though it has been a great time with my husband and our marriage, when I think of my motherhood currently, it sometimes feels lonely. Though all of parenthood is filled with many emotions; it has been the most honorable and blessed thing I have ever experienced! I believe parenthood was a time I grew up as I was trying to grow up my children. I learned I could love unconditionally and sacrificially.  No matter how much I was stressed or felt like a failure, I never stopped loving them, caring for them, wanting all of their dreams to come true, wanting them to have happiness in life, and peace with God. I have so many wonderful memories! Even the bad events are now special memories. I just wish I would have appreciated it more at the time! I wish I hadn’t taken for granted that last time Bryce crawled up in my lap needing loving from his mother; if I hadn’t, maybe I would know when that last time was! I wish I hadn’t taken for granted the last time Brittne wanted to be totally silly with her mama; if I hadn’t, maybe I would know when that last time was! And now it starts all over with the anticipation of the birth of my first grandchild. This time through, I will not take anything for granted. I think that is what makes grandparenthood so magical. It is seeing things in a deeper, more spiritual, more grateful set of eyes because your focus isn't on the demands of the day to day life of rearing children. My definition for grandparenthood is appreciating all the things you took for granted the first time around!
    As I have pondered the characteristics of being a grandparent, I have realized that God has them all. Since He is my all in all, then He is not only my father, but my grandfather as well. God has shown me much about Himself through parenthood. Now I pray He reveals Himself to me more deeply as I experience grandparenthood. I am ready for the adventure to begin! Bring on the diapers!

Show me your truth and teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me,

 for you are God my Savior.

Psalm 25:4-5