Follow the Instruction

     After a few years of substituting at the schools in Helena, Montana, I started working for the State of Montana and became a Training Administrator. The department was going through some major internal restructuring and the majority of employees were not at all happy. I had to conduct Team Building training for all employees throughout the state. One particular week I had to travel all week long. Every day I faced an angry classroom of employees and by the end of the day, we were all friends. Finally, Friday arrived. I had to face the angriest of the groups and I had not been looking forward to it. At least, I got to wear jeans and tennis shoes instead of my normal skirt and heels (Dwayne: This was a God send!). We started the introductions and within seconds I knew I had not underestimated their anger. After standing on my heels all week, my feet and legs were killing me and I started looking around the room for something to sit on. I discovered a step ladder in the corner and opened it up to have something to sit on when my feet was screaming for relief (Dwayne:  Everyone looks for a step ladder to sit on, right?). Before the end of the introduction I had sat myself on the step ladder with by feet planted firmly in front of me. As the angry people were telling me their opinion of having to be in this class, I pushed by weight back on the ladder with my feet. In a split second, my worse fear was happening. I had always known somewhere deep inside that I was not going to be able to hide my klutziness from my classes forever. I knew that the day would come that I would take a big fall right in front of a classroom of people and that day was here. When I shifted my weight, that ladder and me went straight backwards. I was on my back, with the ladder under my legs and my feet straight up in the air. I have never been so thankful for casual Friday! The only thing worse at this moment was if I had been in my normal skirt! All I could do was to stand up, make a joke about it, laugh with the class, and move on. Oh, and listen to one of the guys in the class about making sure I lock the ladder into the open position! No, I did not know that before this day. I had never been on a ladder in my life! Now it is the first thing I do, but not on that day! At the end of class, the people told me that it was a great ice breaker when I fell. In fact, several of them thought I did it on purpose to help lighten the atmosphere. The others said I should do it in every class I teach! I don't think so!!!
     My problem this day was I did not take time to learn how to use something I flippantly decided to use. I could have spent some time reading the directions to step ladders and if the directions were not available to me, I could have asked if anybody knew how to use the ladder. However, it seemed so simple. I didn't need instruction for this, I was totally capable of figuring it out for myself! This kind of thinking got me flat on my back in a very humiliating and embarrassing position.
     Many times in life we go through situations that we think we are totally capable of figuring out or handling. We don't study our instruction manual: the Bible. We don't ask others for help or advice. We just do it all on our own. Then we find our self in a embarrassing position, flat on our back spiritually.
     We have instructions to life in the Bible. Do you spend time reading your manual? How much do you ask others for help? Have you ever wound up in a bad position because you didn't know how to handle something when the answers you were looking for were spelled out in Scripture if you just took the time to read it! What issues do you have going on today? Are you going to ask for advice? Are you going to read your instructions? If you don’t, you will end up falling flat on your back! It is up to you!

If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it.

James 1:5 (TMSG)

Say No To Sin

   When I was managing the temporary service in Fort Worth, I decided one day to clean up a testing room that had gotten pretty messy. I found a huge wall map and decided it would look great on the bare wall that hit you in the face when you walked into the room. In my singleness of mind to get the job done as fast as possible, I decided to use the closest chair to climb up on to nail the map to the wall. I was very responsible to ask one of the employees to come and hold the chair for me because not only was it on wheels but it twirled around as well. I can see all of you shaking your heads already; I would be offended but I know I deserve it because I am shaking my head as I am typing it. I am so glad I am so much smarter today than to do something like that! (I mean it Dwayne; there better not be a comment here! haha. Dwayne: Well, I did have a thought!) Anyway, Cindy was holding the chair for me while I was leaning out hammering a corner and as I was hammering, the other end started falling down. I hollered at Cindy to grab the map. Dumb, dumb mistake! She did as I ordered and when she grabbed the map, she let go of the chair. All of a sudden I was running the chair like a barrel on a pond. I had watched that feat enough on TV to know that eventually you fall into the water. When I had ran all I could, I figured my time of falling was close, so I jumped off; with a hammer in one hand and nails in my mouth! I would have made it with no problem but the back of the chair had rotated to the front of me. So, when I jumped off my foot hooked under the back cushion and I flew across the room. Remember, not only am I in charge of worker's comp, I am the office manger! I must admit, I was not a very good example.
     Have you ever ran a barrel? If ‘no’ physically; how about spiritually? Have you out of ease and laziness chosen to allow a certain sin in your life? You knew that it wasn't the smartest thing to do, so you paid extra attention to make sure it didn't get out of control. You might have even asked someone to help you keep it in order. But then something happened. You lost focus and life started twirling out of control. You ran harder trying to not let it win; but in the end it sent you flying!
     When you welcome sin into your life it will end up costing you. You will never control sin unless you flee from it. The best way to keep from falling is to not welcome it in your life with open arms! We must be wise and follow what the Bible says, say no to sin and the Devil! Are you willing to start telling him no? If you don’t you will fall and the only way up on your feet will be to repent, say ‘no’ to sin and ‘yes’ to God!

So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he’ll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knee before the mater; it’s the only way you’ll get on your feet.

James 4:7-10

For the World to See

     Between the last two falls, which happened in the same church within two weeks, I have now revealed to everyone what a klutz I am. Many people enjoyed that revelation and used it as a great target for their teasing and bantering. One of these times, was when a friend and Dwayne picked me up and carried me from the sanctuary, across the street, and up the stairs to Sunday school. They wanted to make sure I could get there safely without falling. What great gentlemen they were! lol I’d like to see them try that today! (Not because of my extra pounds but because of their extra pounds and age!) The next story I am sharing with you is not about me falling but about something of mine falling. It brings the same level of embarrassment though! The church we were attending (same one) had two church services and two Sunday schools. We attended the first church service and the second Sunday school hour. When Sunday school was over, we walked with many of our friends back over to the main building to pick up our children from their classes. This particular Sunday, church had already concluded. This made for crazy congestion. Cars pulling out of parking spots, lines of cars on the street, and people trying to cross the street made for interesting dodging. Our group of friends were crossing the street together, which means there are cars stopped going both directions waiting on us. I do not mean to take anything away from God's greatness and power, but there are times in my life, I think I bring some comic relief to God. I am not for sure if that has not been my purpose in life! lol In my mind God has pulled up a chair in the window of Heaven and had others in Heaven do the same. I can hear Him say, "Okay, watch this . . . it’s coming!" Back to my story. I believe there was an invisible "X" right in the middle of the street that day because as soon as my foot touched that "X", the elastic in my slip broke and my slip went clear to my ankles! (Dwayne: I kept walking and never looked back once I saw what happened!) In reality, a slip is just a piece of fabric but once it is called a slip, it is a private undergarment. At this point there isn't anything private about my undergarment! As the laughter began, I SHUFFLED over to a parked car and stepped out of my slip. I stuck it in my purse until I saw my first trash can. It was on this day, that I swore I would never wear another slip and I haven't! I am sure I have given some shows in the spotlight of the sun, but so be it. At least, I don't have a slip around my ankles!
     In our lives we have things we consider private. Things we do not share with the world. Some of us have more than others, but we all have them. It can be very devastating when our private things are seen by others. These private things can be actions, thoughts, behaviors, or mistakes. Different things can reveal them: an uncontrolled tongue of a friend, unintentional words of an acquaintance, a breaking point, stressful trials and tests, or a relaxed frame of mind. Whatever the reason, in a split of a second, what we considered private is now public. It might not be that big of a deal to anyone but us, but it feels invasive.
     What do you do at that time? Get angry? Try and cover it up? Shuffle around and pretend your slip isn’t at your ankles? Or do you take a deep breath, shrug it off, and step out of it! The bigger deal you make it, the bigger deal it is to others. Learning to say, “Oh, well! I guess you just saw a little of my true colors!” will get you through the situation quickly and you will come out of it a better person.

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors.

James 1:2

Sin is Costly

     A few weeks after my fall in the choir loft, I fell again in our Sunday School class. We had a large young married class of around 30 couples. In our class, donuts were a Sunday tradition. We were in class early to make sure we had time to fellowship. I had poured myself a cup of coffee and I am sure I had a donut in my hand. I was visiting with a few people and as I was talking I started playing on the stiletto heel of my shoe. I had just put my weight on it and was rotating my ankle around on the heel. Don’t ask why! I have no idea! As we go through these stories, there will be many times I will not be able to explain why, you will just have to go with it. Anyway, it wasn’t long until I knew I was going to fall. It wasn’t like the fall in the choir loft that happened so fast my mind had no time to prepare. This time it was as if I was seeing things in slow motion. When I knew it was certain I was going down, I immediately thought of the safety of others. Aren’t I a nice person? I didn’t want to throw my hot coffee on to anyone, so I threw it on the wall. I was so relieved that I did not go all the way down to the floor. I actually fell onto the table. However, I could only enjoy my relief for a few seconds because the realization of what I was actually sitting on was shooting from my behind to my head. I knew the evidence of my fall was going to stay with my backside, but I was more horrified of how this stupid fall was going to affect others. Imagine a crazy, hurried morning of getting the kids out the door. You grabbed a banana and a pop tart for the kids to eat on the way to church but you didn’t grab anything for yourself, though you are starving, because you know there will be donuts in your Sunday school class waiting for you. However, when you finally get to the class donuts you notice they are not normal. They are all smashed; flat as a pancake! You can’t figure out what has happened to the donuts until you see Tonya’s backside and you now have your answer. It doesn’t help your stomach growls but at least you know the donuts have been smashed because Tonya sat on them; every last one of them!
     It would be great in life if our falls, our sin, only affected us. But it doesn’t! Our sin affects us and it affects others. We live in a sinful world and the sins of the world affect you and me! If it didn’t, you wouldn’t have to be concerned with crime, godless beliefs, sexual perversions, drunk drivers, or drug dealers, etc. Very seldom does my sin only affect me, most of the time it affects my family, my friends, my church family, and my acquaintances.
     Never think sin is no big deal. Even the so called ‘little sins’ can devastate a person in the right situation. Maybe someone who feels so worthless is contemplating suicide and you being rude to them or chewing them out for something was the last straw! We must continually remind ourselves that sin is costly! Your sin costs you the consequences of disobedience and it costs others hurt and anguish. Don’t take sin lightly! It cost Jesus His life!

But the men who had gone up with him said, “We can’t attack those people; they are stronger than we   are.”  And they spread among the Israelites a bad report about the land they had explore.

Numbers 13:31-32

(This was when the spies came back from exploring the land.  Ten of the twelve were disobedient to what God had told them to do.  The result of their sin affected an entire nation.)

Stay on Guard

     The next incident of falling I can remember is when I around 27 years old. We were attending a large church and I was working on our first women’s retreat. I agreed to be in a skit at the end of service to encourage attendance. The plan was for me to sneak out of the choir during invitational prayer and then come back in for the skit. So, during prayer all was going as planned until I took my second step out of the choir loft and in a split second, my foot slipped off the step, my body went crashing to the ground taking a few chairs down with me! This did not happen quietly; it was a loud bang that echoed through the sanctuary. It was such a shocking and unexpected loud noise during a quiet prayer time that every head popped up like puppets on one string, and every pair of eyes opened to find the source of the distraction. As soon as I fell, I pulled myself up and sat on the step, bowed my head, and actively started praying that God would make me invisible. As soon as I felt the heads go back to their praying positions, I gathered my books which had flown through the air about two step above me and found my shoes which leaped off my feet and bounced two steps below me. I finally made it out of the sanctuary, swallowed my pride and performed the skit as planned. Dwayne sang in the choir too and knew something had happened but could not see me since I was directly to him left (Dwayne: I never raised my head). So, when people told him that I had fallen asleep and fell out of my choir chair, he believed them! (Dwayne again: I sure did!) (What is the editor freedom here! You’re probably going to see that several times while I write about my falling adventures! lol)
     Have you ever been going along feeling pretty good about your Christian walk and out of nowhere you take a fall and wonder where that came from? Was it in front of others? I know I have been feeling pretty good after a great church service or a quiet time and then out of nowhere I jump down someone's throat! Of course when I do something stupid like this, it is usually in front of others which only creates a situation where I have to eat some public crow! The core issue is we can get lackadaisical when things are going well. We let down our guard and we think our flesh is sitting nicely in the corner. As we are not paying attention, our flesh can leap out of the corner and start ranting and raving before we can figure out what is happening.
      Have you let down your guard down against sin in your life? Have you fallen? Have you crashed in front of others? Pick yourself up, gather your senses, swallow your pride, and continue your plan. Most importantly, stay on guard!

Keep your eyes open, hold tight to your convictions, give it all you’ve got, be resolute,

and love without stopping.

1 Corinthians 16:13-14

Stay Away From Mud Puddles!

(Okay, Mrs. T; hold on, you think you laughed yesterday; I am going to take you on a ride for a few days!)
      I knew for months that the time would come when I would explain to you all why I said I was a verbal and physical klutz! I was once challenged to write devotions over my blunders and I now feel up to the challenge! lol I have several great falling stories so I decided to begin with the first fall I can remember. It was in sixth grade. I was hanging out with my friends before school and a boy that we tormented came up to talk to me. I was a typical kid and was nice to this boy when nobody was looking but I had to keep up my image in front of my friends and not respond well to him. It still shames me that I did not show continual kindness to this boy. He came up to me and told me that he had prayed for me to win the spelling bee that day. I continued to tell him that I wasn’t in the spelling bee. When he didn’t stop, I threaten to hit him if he did not shut up. I was so tough! Like anybody would be scared of my punch! Well, he did not stop and I took out after him. I was wearing my favorite outfit. Purple corduroy pants and a lavender sweater. In my pursuit to be a big shot, I tripped. The big, deep, mud puddle cushioned my fall. When I stood up, I looked like I had been in a wrestling match from my front side. I still remember to this day having a mouth full of mud and having mud drip off my eyelashes. Worst of all, I had put a huge hole in the knee of my pants. Today, they would be in style but in those days it would have been a fashion faux pau. My teacher did not feel any compassion for me and made me sit in class with mud on my face: literally. He would not let me go anywhere until my mother brought me new clothes. This was the beginning of 38 years of falls. The good thing is I have never eaten mud again: it wasn’t too tasty!
     God has a law of order. That law says there are consequences to sin. Do not judge this story with adult eyes. Do not try and say that it was a little sin. In the life of a sixth grader, it was sin. That sin had a life effect on the boy we were mean to. Having humiliated him, return humiliation was the consequences I deserved. It was consequences I learned from and knew that God lovingly let it happen. If I had not learned from them, they would have grown in severity, until my Abba Father got his little girl to behave.
     What is God trying to teach you? What sin does He want you to stop doing? Are you experiencing any consequences for your sin? If we do not acknowledge and learn from our consequences, they will continue to come into our life until we do. If you keep inching your way to the mud puddle, you will end up in the middle of it!

Those who plow evil and those who sow trouble reap it!

Job 4:6

FYI - This is #200 devotion.  Thanks for your encouraging words that keep me up late each night writing!  You are worth it!

What Are You Thinking?

     Today, I did one of my little blunders; not a big one mind you, just a little one. I was trying to find my previous number called on my work phone. I have worked at my company for a year now but I never knew all the features of my phone. So, in my process to find my number I hit a few wrong buttons, so I picked up the receiver and put it back down to clear the commands. A few minutes later, I heard a coworker at a desk laughing and asking if Sherry accidently hit the speaker button. So, I hollered out, “No! It’s me! Then they told me to fix my phone. I hollered back, “I don’t know how!” Then they told me to hit the goodbye button and I said, “Where is that!” Now they are cracking up laughing because I hit the INTERCOM button and the whole company was only hearing me! They heard, "No! It’s me! . . . I don’t know how! . . . Where is that?" I didn’t even know I had an intercom button on my phone! This lovely situation made me wonder how different my words would be if I knew I was on an intercom all day.
     That question made me think of one of my favorite movie: What Women Want! I love it when he hears what women are thinking. Women’s thoughts are not a safe place for a guy to go! It did drive him crazy until it starts to change him. He started understanding and caring about the women he was hearing. He ends up relating to women in a way few, if any men, can!
     Can you imagine with me for a moment what it would be like if someone could read your mind? I know there would be moments when I would feel so shameful! I think I would begin to hide from everyone, to save some face. Yet, if I could read the mind of those people I have a hard time dealing with, maybe I would hear their fears or insecurities or hurts and have grace and compassion for them. Or maybe I would hear the really bad things and really have a hard time with them! Lol
    Whether it is the words I say, or the thoughts I think, I would not want others to hear them. I do try to control my tongue and mind, but it is always a struggle. However, I can hide my thoughts from everyone and my words from most, but I can not hide one thought or one word from God. Regrettably, He knows everyone of them. Just think of the thoughts you have had today! Have you taken them captive? When a thought that is not pleasing to God enters you mind, arrest it, and execute it!

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that is exalted against the knowledge of God, and bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ;

2 Corinthians 10:5

Why Did You Go To Church Today?

     If you went to church yesterday, why did you go? That is one question I do not ask myself often enough. Going to church is such a habit and part of my life. For a pastor’s wife, it can become an action just like going to work; something I do without thinking why. It has been twenty years since I have seen church attendance as a choice. I have forgotten what it is like to get up on a Sunday morning and ask myself if I feel like going to church today. I am not sure that is a good thing! However, I don’t believe the real question should be ‘do I want to go to church’? It should be, ‘why am I going to church?’ We all face that question. It hurts my heart when I hear some of the answers to that question. Some go for the music, some to see friends, some for the preaching, some because they have responsibilities, some go because that is what you are suppose to do to be a good Christian, some because they want to look good for their friends, some because their parents or their spouse makes them, some go because it is a holiday, and some go because they are in crisis and they're looking for hope until life comes back together. Have you ever gone for any or many of these reasons? How rewarding was it in the long run?
     Yesterday during the music, the singer shared part of the story behind the song he was going to sing. It has been one of my favorite songs since the day it came out, but now that I know the story behind it, it is even more powerful. Let me share it with you!
     Soul Survivor (a church and ministry in London) had developed a great worship time through music. It was what they were known for. Yet, they felt they had lost their spark. Although they were singing the songs, their hearts were far from Him. Then one day it clicked; they had become connoisseurs of worship instead of participants of it. They began to make statements like; 'Not that song again,' 'I can't hear the bass,' 'I like the way she sings better.' They had made the band the performers of worship and themselves the audience. They were challenged to ask themselves individually, 'When I come through the door of the church, what am I bringing as my contribution to worship?' They discovered the truth was that worship is not a spectator sport, it is not a product molded by the taste of the consumers. It is not about what we can get out of it; it is all about God. So they banned their band. For worship they sat around in circles and it was up to them to bring a sacrifice of praise. If they didn’t, they sat in silence. It was a very painful process. They were learning not to rely on the music. After a while, they began to have some very sweet times of worship. They began bringing prayers, readings, prophecies, thanksgiving, praises and songs. Someone would start a song ac-cappella and others would all join in. They stopped having church and started once again meeting with God. With all the comforts stripped away, they worshiped from their heart. From this time of banning the music, their music minister wrote the following words:

When the music fades,
All is stripped away, and I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless your heart
I'll bring you more than a song
For a song in itself is not what you have required.
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear;
You're looking into my heart.
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about you
All about you Jesus.
I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it
When it's all about you,
All about you Jesus.
King of endless worth
No one could express
How much you deserve.
Though I'm weak and poor
All I have is yours, every single breath
This story was told by Pastor Mike Pilavachi at http://www.higherpraise.com/worship/worship_whenthemusicfades.htm

     Corporate worship is to be a time we come together and focus on God. We are not to be the audience; God is the audience. We all perform worship for Him and sacrifice is central to Biblical worship.

We are called to offer our bodies as living sacrifices - this is OUR spiritual act of worship.

 Romans 12:1

     Most of us have heard this scripture. What is your sacrifice? We often think we sacrifice our time while we sit in church, or we sacrifice and serve somewhere so we can pat our self on the back and say, “look how much I love Jesus!” Let me ask you a question; if your spouse treated you like you treat Jesus, would you be happy? Let’s say that once a week they cooked and served you a meal and actually cleaned up the kitchen when they were done. Then they pulled up a chair beside you and said, “I am here in your presence, I am giving up the next hour and a half to be moved by you. You need to entertain and move me during this time to keep me coming back each week. Would that make you feel honored? Loved? Worshiped? If it isn’t good enough for you, it is certainly not good enough for Him. You can give Him your time; you can give Him your service; but what He wants is your heart! He wants you to sacrifice your self pleasing desires and have a God pleasing heart! So,“Why do you go to church?”

He's Got the Whole World In His Hand!

     I woke up this morning to the song, “He’s got the Whole World in His Hands!” I remember when I was little and we would include everything we could think of to complete the line, “He’s got the ________”. We would sing: He has ‘all of my friends, in His hands; He has me and my dog, in His hands; He has my mom and dad, in his hands; He has all my room, in His hands; He has the big yellow sun, in His hands;’ etc. What a great song to teach us at an early age about the Sovereignty of God. Everything is in His Hands and in His control! As an adult, I could add some additional phrases like: He has me and my job, in His hand; He has me and my marriage, in His hand; He has me and my finances, in His hand; and especially for today, He has me and my daughter, in His hand. The reason I woke up singing this song and the reason that I would sing about my daughter being in His hands, is that she is traveling down the Death Road on a bicycle today. Now, I don’t call it Death Road; that is its official name! It is the World’s Most Dangerous Road and it is located in La Paz, Bolivia. Brittne went to La Paz to see the boy that she sponsors though the Compassion Organization. She has supported him and written to him for over two years now. My little world traveler is in Bolivia by herself. Bolivia borders Peru on the opposite side of the Andes Mountains. To her, she is just going to another village. To mama, she is traveling in and out of a country by herself! Yesterday is when she saw her boy and today she had a whole day to see the sights. After researching the things to do in La Paz, Death Road was the biggest attraction in Bolivia and one of the greatest attractions in South America! So, what could be better than to earn bragging rights about riding a bike down the death trap? I could think of a few but as an adventuresome young adult, I guess you are attracted to it like a magnet! There have been 11 deaths of people on bikes on this trail, but with reassuring effort on her part, Brittne informed me that none have died with the tour company she is going with! That helped so much: nothing to worry about now! lol Don’t think I did not run the stats; there has been 32,000 bikers take the adventuresome journey and only 11 have died, so that is less than a one percent chance. In reality, I have no idea why I figured that because her life is not in the hands of statistics, or in her own ignorance; it is in the hands of her loving, caring, and sufficient Heavenly Father. I have always had to learn to put my children in God’s hands and release them out of mine. I remember letting go of them the first time they slid down the slide, and the first time they walked to school without me following them in the car, and the first time they left the house with the keys to the car to go cruise the streets; those seem like a piece of cake today! However, I have to remind myself (about once a minute) that she isn’t alone today! She is still in God’s hands. They are the same hands that held her down the slide, the same hands that protected her as she walked home from school, and the same hands that enveloped her car as she drove the streets. Today, God’s hands still encompass her and they are strong enough to keep her from falling off an 11,000 foot cliff. Brittne belongs to Him anyways, and her life is in His hands everyday of her life. I will trust Him each of those days no matter where His hands take her. He is my sovereign God!
     What do you need to put in His hands? Do you trust Him above any statistics or circumstances? Is there anything that has more control than He does? If not, then there is nothing else to trust!

He is the one who runs the earth! He cradles the whole world in his hand!

Job 34:13

The YoYo Game

     I have loved something about every stage of motherhood. However, looking back I must admit that I love the simplicity of motherhood with young children. They told you the things that made them happy, sad, and mad. They looked to you to make it all better, even if it was with a big hug! If they were with friends and the friends were being ugly, you could say, “No, you guys place nice!”, “We don’t act like that here!”, or “You need to apologize!” When they came to you, they only wanted one thing: for you to fix it. Then as young teenagers they start the motherhood yoyo game that continues on to adulthood. If you are a mother I am sure you have experienced the frustrations of this game and if you are not, I know you more than likely have played the game with your mother. When for whatever reason you don’t want to talk to your friends about a situation that you are worried about or having issues, you talk to your mother. You cry with her, you pray with her, you share your deepest feelings with her and then things get better. Of course, you don’t know it because they are off doing their own thing. When you follow up with their situation, they tell you to back off and not worry about it! They want you, when they want you and yoyo recess begins. When they are hurt, confused, and need help, they want you. When they got it together, when they have the answers, and when they are happy, they don’t need you.
     If I asked all the mothers to raise their hands if they think this is unfair, selfish, and hurtful, hands would fly up! If I asked if they would want to be involved in the good times as well as the bad, hands would fly up! If I asked if they would like to have communication with their children about all aspects of life, hands would fly up!
     Do you think our relationship with our Heavenly Father is any different? We as His children run to our Father to help us when no one else will do and then when things settle down, we are off doing our own thing. When we are hurt, confused, and need help, we want Him. When we get it together, when we have the answers, and when we are happy, we think we don’t need Him. I think God can feel the frustration of our yoyo games. He doesn’t want to be there just for your problems, your times of need and then be forgotten when you think you got it all together! I heard a saying many years ago, that is very powerful. If Jesus isn’t Lord of All, He isn’t Lord at All! I wonder if it wouldn’t be just as powerful if we said, “If Jesus isn’t Lord all the time, then He isn’t Lord at anytime! If He is truly Lord of your life, then He is Lord of All your life at All times!!!

 Psalm 107

Oh, thank God—he’s so good! His love never runs out. (1)

A hard sentence, and your hearts so heavy, and not a soul in sight to help. Then you called out to God in your desperate condition; he got you out in the nick of time. (12,13)

You were spun like a top, you reeled like a drunk, and you didn’t know which end was up. Then you called out to God in your desperate condition; he got you out I the nick of time. He quieted the wind down to a whisper; put a muzzle on all the big waves. So thank God for his marvelous love, for his miracle mercy o the children he loves. (27-31)

What kind of love do you seek?

     This morning on the way to work, I was listening to a local radio station. They had a young woman on the line who was sharing how she got pregnant and then married the father of her child. They then had another child. Now they have the perfect life, to the outside world. She said they have a love for each other but they are not in love. They have decided to stay together for the next fourteen years until the children are 18 and then they will divorce. That is such a sad story for me because it doesn’t have to be like that. It got me pondering the things I have heard and been asked recently. Let me share some of those with you:

• How can I love after having those I loved before misuse the trust I gave them?
• What would happen if they decided not to love me anymore?
• They don’t do anything for me and I am stuck in this marriage!
• What is love?
• If true love comes from God, and I am not perfect, how will I ever be able to love someone?
• Should love be so hard?

    I see people looking for love everywhere and in all the wrong places (as the old song goes). I see married people having sex outside of marriage. I see single women having affairs with married men. I see people having open marriages. I see Christian’s sleeping with people outside of marriage and thinking nothing of it. It is as if somewhere we have bought a lie from Satan that sex will give you love. Yet, we have forgotten that God says all sex of any kind outside of your own marriage is sin.

      We all have a love tank in our soul. That love tank is like a gas tank on a car. Your car needs a quality, clean gas to run and to run efficiently. If you pumped diesel gas into a regular car, or if you put dirty gas, or water into your gas tank, you will hurt your car’s performance or destroy its engine. If you try and put anything into you love tank other than God’s kind of love, you will cause hurt in your life or destroy your relationship. When two people seek the Lord and follow His leading and His desires, they will be blessed with love in all areas of their life.

     A question I learned from my wise husband is this: If you want God to bless your relationship, shouldn’t your relationship’s behavior be following God’s principles? We want to do what we want and then ask God to bless it! Our love tank is only full when we fill it with the clean, pure love of God. When we are full of His love, all relationships work to produce blessing in our life. When we don’t, we experience pain and broken relationships. It doesn’t matter if you are dating, engaged, single, or married, are you willing to let your relationships be lead by God and are you willing to fill your love tank with only His love? Are you ready to cut the hose to the world’s dirty, unclean, fake love that only brings destruction to your life? May you choose, may I choose, the Love of God!

  

Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes and the vain glory of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.

1 John 2:15-16

 

Love Letters

     Yesterday morning, Mother’s Day, I woke up to a wonderful letter written to me by my husband. Though you may never know it from his burly characteristics, he can write wonderful poems and love letters. I have saved many of them and it is very special to read them over and over to remember; where we were, where we wanted to go, and how we got to this wonderful time in life. They are a cherished treasure of the heart. I always tease him that they will comfort me one day when he is gone. The one I received yesterday will go in the saved letter pile. The words of encouragement he gave me for my roles as mother, teacher, and mentor will never fade in value to my insecure heart. His words from the letters he has written me over the years bring me comfort, encouragement, love, remembrance, appreciation, and blessing.
     When I read the letters Dwayne has wrote me, they are letters of the past. However, at Bryce and Kristen’s (my son and daughter-in-laws) rehearsal dinner, I had people write cards to them. We put them in a box and every year they will open up one card. Bryce’s grandfather wrote his card to be opened on their 25th wedding anniversary. Can you imagine what it will feel like to read a letter from someone of the past, to you in the future? His grandfather is 83 years old, so chances are he will not be alive when they read the card. What a sweet gift that will be a special keepsake.
     We have a loved one that left us letters from the past and for the future. His words from the letters He has given us were written to give us comfort, encouragement, love, remembrance, guidance, and blessing. The things we need to consider is if we cherish these letters that our Savior Jesus has left for us. Do we read them and reread them to feel close to Him and to gather everything in our hearts and life that He wanted us to know. Does His word have value in our life or have we let its value fade in importance? They are His love letter to us! Are they important to you?

Jesus commented, “Even more blessed are those who hear God’s Word and guard it with their lives!”

Luke 11:28

Legacy of Mothers

    I have spoken about mothers who have been in my life for two days. As much as Mother’s Day has wonderful feelings for me, I realize that there are many women who will be mourning or dealing with broken hearts this and every Mother’s Day. I know a few who will be reading this devotion and let me say that I love you and my heart is aware of your hurt! Some women will be painfully aware that they do not have a child of their own, some will be experiencing their first Mother’s Day without their mother, some will be enduring the consequence of a wayward child, and some will be experiencing the heavy heart of a child who is now in Heaven. These are the difficult sides of motherhood but they are a part of motherhood. Though we as mothers, try to focus on the great memories and forget the bad, we all have those heart wrenching memories. I personally know what it is like to yearn for a child and wonder if you are being punished. I've seen how tough it is for those who have lost their mothers. I know what it is like to endure the consequences of your child’s stupid decisions. And though I have not had to live through the loss of a child, I have got a little taste of it when we sent Brittne off to Peru. In my heart, I had to be prepared to some degree for the worse!
    Like always, it doesn’t matter if others can understand your pain or if I can because God does! He has filled his Word with the heart of mother’s. Some of the mother’s that come to mind are:
Eve- She was the first to deal with all expects of motherhood including two children who did not get along and she had nobody to help her understand the struggles.
Ruth –She lost her son and loved a daughter-in-law but let her go to find love again.
Hannah – She endured the pain of not having a child, begged God for a child, and was blessed with a son that she gave back to God.
Job’s wife – (I think she gets a raw deal, I will write about her soon) She lost all ten of her children, her wealth, and almost her husband. This woman knew pain.
Rachael and Leah – Two sisters with the same husband. They experienced jealousy to the max, yet one used her children as leverage and one was over protective.
Mary- She endured the shame of being pregnant without being married even though she knew why!
Later, not only did she watch her Son be killed, she watched Him be beaten beyond recognition and then crucified on a cross.
Elizabeth – She prayed for years for a child and when it appeared absolutely hopeless she became pregnant and gave birth to the greatest born among men.
Eunice –She was a woman of a honest and rich faith, who received it from her mother Lois and passed it on to her son Timothy.
     I am sure there are many more, I just used the ones in my memory. Each can be an example for us to follow and if there was a Hall of Fame for mothers I am sure they would be the first inductees. God seems to have a special place in his heart for mothers. Whatever joys and struggles we experience as mothers or mothers by heart, it is an honorable position to be held in highest regards. Have a happy and blessed Mother’s Day.

She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, and keeps them all busy and protective. Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise: “Many women have done wonderful things, but you’ve outclassed them all!”

Proverbs 31:27:29

A Servants Heart

     Yesterday, I told you about 12 women who was a part of my life through some sort of mother role. I actually skipped one. I didn’t tell you about my mother. My mother was a mother and wife at 18 years of age. The problem was, her husband was 17 and still a kid, who was not ready for the commitment of a marriage. By nineteen, she was a single mother with a young daughter. She worked hard to provide for me while having no help from my birth father and her family was not in a position to help her. She later married when I was three. My mother will be 68 on Mother’s Day. The thing that I have learned from my mother is a servant’s heart. My mother would do anything for anybody in need. I saw it early in life when we would adopt a child from the children’s home at Christmas. She went crazy. Some man out there has a football signed by several pro football players and a Hall of Famer because of the extra effort my mother put into making this boys dreams come true. I have seen my mother sacrificially give monetarily to people in need. I have seen her clean someone’s house until she can’t move. I have seen her sit by loved ones death bed and hold their hand to Heaven. I have seen her give up her days off to help a sister in her business. I have seen her take care of an old man’s garden so he could have the joy of having fresh vegetables. I have seen her cook for people. I do not believe there is anything that she would not do if she saw someone in need. I am very pleased to say that I have been the recipient of her serving more times than I can count. If I served her the rest of my life it could never pay her back for what she has done for the people she has blessed.
     I have known people who think they are too good to serve someone. They have too much power, too much pride, or too much money. They are to be served! Recently, my daughter did an amazing job of being a servant. She was in a village and was visiting with an extremely old woman, probably over one hundred. She wasn’t for sure exactly how old she was. She spends her days lying in bed hoping that someone in the village will bring her food. She had a hole in the ground to use for a toilet but many times she would not make it. Brittne and her friend bathed this woman, washed her hair and combed it. That was so pleasing to the woman. Then they took her incredibly heavy blankets and scrubbed them for hours. The water would continually turn black and they would have to get clean water and star all over. The blanket stunk so badly with 2 year old urine that they would gag; but they kept cleaning. The woman felt someone cared for her for the first time in a long time.
     My mother has passed her heart of serving others down to her granddaughter. What a gift to serve. In the world we live, people strive to be the best among all. Jesus tells us how to do that; it is achieved by being a servant. When was the last time you gave sacrificially to others? Do you serve others or do you feel you deserve to be served? I don’t know about you but I would rather be great in Heaven than here on earth. Look around you today. Who can you serve?

Whoever wishes to be great among you must be your servant - - Just as the Son of Man came not be waited on but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.

Mathew 20:26-27

Blessed with many Mothers!

     I am very thankful for Mother’s Day! It is a time to remember the blessing of being a mother, the blessing of my own mother, and the blessing of the other women who fulfilled a mother’s role to me. This will be my 50th Mother’s Day; that is amazing to me! Every year this day of celebrating motherhood has been different for me. Of course, my first few, I have absolutely no memory of. The only thing I remember from childhood is wearing a red rose to church to show my mother was still alive. When I was an early teenager, I remember buying my mother a gown and robe that was a ruffled white bridal outfit that was designed to wear for about 10 minutes: she took it back. I remember visiting my grandmothers. I had three of them and they were completely different. Two of them had lived very hard, difficult lives which I did not learn to appreciate until I was older. The other grandmother, I adored. She was a great mentor and friend. Her mother was still alive, I called her grandma great. She was a sweet Dutch woman who also lived a very hard life. When I was sixteen, I started having another mother figure in my life who eventually became my mother- in- law. She taught me, by example, how to serve your family above yourself. Her family was her priority. I was the daughter she never had and I felt loved by her. I admired her and felt blessed to have her as not just a mother-in-law but as a friend and mother of the heart. With marriage, I got two new grandmothers. One taught me what bitterness can do to your heart and the other one taught me to love life and to get out and do things until your time is complete. When I was twenty-two, I got blessed with a step mother. She was a loving woman who made everyday special. It was like having a holiday every day! She taught me to not take for granted a single day. She loved wholeheartedly. She always had a camera in her hand and she took thousands of pictures. We ended up pregnant at the same time and even shared maternity clothes. We became even closer as we raised our children together. She too brought her mother into my life; a strong and courageous woman. When I was twenty-five, I entered into motherhood for myself. My children were blessed with some amazing mothers in their lives. They had one mother, four grandmothers, six great-grandmothers, and one great/great grandmother. That is 12 women to shape their lives as well as mine! Over the last twenty five years, ten of these women, who had shaped and impacted my life have died. In 1988, I lost the grandmother that I adored; I long for one of our long conversations about life. In 1995, I lost my mother-in-law; I still miss her and wish I could curl up next to her. In 1999, I lost my step mother: I wish I could be watching her excitement as my brother prepares for marriage. One by one, these women stopped being present in my life but I am thankful for each one of them and they will forever be in my heart.
     For many years the mothers in my life have decreased. However, for the first time in over 27 years I get to add a special mother role to my life. It is a new role that I have never experienced before. It is the mother of my grandchild. I have been blessed to have a beautiful, kindhearted daughter-in-law. I can’t help but love her, we are very much alike. We are different in a few areas but overall we have close to the same personalities. We were both raised as only children and we started dating our husbands when we were sixteen. Now this special daughter is not only the wife to my son but she will be the mother of my grandchild(ren). She will be a fun, Godly, and loving mother. I am sure that watching her be a mother will be a blessing to my life.
     What women have impacted you? Were they your mother? Your grandmother? Your step mother? Your mother-in-law? A special woman that loved you like a mother? Are they still alive? Do you have a daughter or daughter-in-law who is the mother of children you love? Make sure to encourage all these mothers this Mother’s Day. Let them know how they impacted you and how you would be different without them in your life. You do not know how many Mother’s Days you have left with them. Motherhood is an amazing gift from God, never take for granted its power in your life.

"Honor your father and mother" is the first commandment that has a promise attached to it, namely, "so you will live well and have a long life."

Ephesians 6:2-3

Need Some Conviction?

     A few months ago I told you that my favorite night of each Biggest Loser’s season is makeover week; and tonight was make over night for this season. This season there is a guy named Michael, who started over 500 pounds. He has now lost almost 200 pounds. Tonight each contestant received $1000 to buy clothes. They were all so excited to be able to shop in a normal clothing store. They were all helping each other: all except Michael. Though Michael has lost more than anybody, he was still shopping all by himself at the big man store. He was so discouraged. He stated that it felt like it use too before he lost almost 200 pounds. When he joined the others, his discouragement faded but his reality still stares him in the face that he has over 100 pounds to get to his goal weight.
     Have you ever felt really good about your spiritual walk until God convicted you through a Bible Study or through a sermon? I remember when I was growing as a Christian for really the first time in my life. As soon as I started feeling pretty good about how I was growing and learning, God would convict me on something else. I have a vivid memory of crying to the Lord begging Him to go work on someone else for a while. I tried to convince Him that I needed a break. He disagreed and the conviction and growth continued. I was very frustrated that as hard as I had worked, I felt like I deserved a break! I wanted to experience the feeling of success, not conviction.
     Where are you on your journey? Do you feel like you should have 'arrived' as a Christian by now? Do you get frustrated that there is not an end to our spiritual growth until the day we see Jesus? The only thing worse than continual conviction is having no conviction! If you aren’t convicted, you are not open to the spirits teaching, directing, or growing! Tell God you are in this journey to be what He desires for His glory. Let God show you the things that aren’t right in your life and heart. We need to all fall on our face and say, “bring on the conviction, Lord!”

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right, persevering, and steadfast spirit within me.

Psalms 51:10

Out of Comfort Zone

     I told you a few days ago about how Bryce helped me experience Birmingham in a way I would not have without him. It wasn’t due solely to visiting the Civil Right Institute; it was also what we did after the museum. The museum is in the part of downtown that is populated mainly by blacks. While we were driving around, we agreed we were starving and needed to find something to eat. Bryce wanted to eat at a landmark. We drove by a very run down café called Nelsons. Bryce had remembered seeing something in the museum about Nelsons and declared that was where he wanted to eat. Not only would I have not eaten there by myself; I would not have eaten there unless he was as adamant as he was. I agreed I would step out of my comfort zone and eat at Nelson’s; after all I just went through the museum where I was ashamed for the way whites treated blacks because of the color of their skin. It was time to put actions to my beliefs. We walked by several black men sitting on the sidewalk to enter into the restaurant. We ordered at the counter and took a seat in a booth. We were the only whites in this establishment. A few men came by our booth and introduced themselves. We spoke to a man who was in a Kelly green suit with Kelly green shoes. I had on a lime green shirt and shoes, so I told him how we matched and how colorful we were. Everyone in the restaurant was laughing and seemed to respect us for not feeling we were too good to come into their hangout and eat. Then we walked down the street; Bryce had always wanted to get a razor shave from a real barbershop and there were plenty to choose from. We were walking by one of the barbershop and a man asked Bryce if he wanted a cut. Bryce said no but he wanted a shave and the guy said, “follow me”! I started to follow him into the barber shop and then I noticed that there were no women in the shop. I stopped in the door way and looked at another barber and asked if I could go in. He assured me it was okay. Once again, we were the only white people in this barber shop and now I am also the only woman. They were very polite to us and said, “God Bless You” when we paid. (Okay, I can’t help but tell you one additional part to this story. It has nothing to do with the meaning and only feeds my ego, but if you are an aging woman staring down 50, you will understand my excitement. The barber thought I was Bryce’s girlfriend or wife! I don’t care if he was lying, it made me feel good. I keep trying to get Bryce to call me ‘cougar mama’, but as of now I haven’t convinced him to do it! I am going to keep trying though!)
     This experience taught me what it feels like to be totally out of my comfort zone. It taught me what it feels like to stand out like a sore thumb. Also, it showed me how our fear can separate us from people different than us. Every person we encountered treated us no way but kind. The locals thought we were a little stupid for being in this part of town. I am not saying we should not be cautious in our safety but in this case it was nothing more than a culture difference between people of different colors.
     How do you think someone might feel the first time they visit a church? Maybe they have never been in any church before? Are they welcomed or are they ostracized for not fitting in? What are you doing to greet people and help people feel welcomed even if they are different? Or do you think they shouldn’t be in church until they clean up? I recently heard this statement: church isn’t a place you should have to clean up to go, it is a place you should go and let God clean you up! We should stand as a united body of Christ but not a uniformed body of Christ. If God wanted us all the same, He would have created us all the same!

Let each of you esteen and look upon and be concerned for not (merely) his own interests, but also each of the interest of others.  Let this same attitude and purpose and (humble) mind be in you which was in Christ Jesus: (Let Him be your example in humility).

Philippians 2:4

Times Change

     This weekend I was with Bryce and Brittne; all by myself! It was such an encouragement to my ‘mama heart!'  Brittne has been in Peru for all most two years and Bryce got married a little over a year ago. My motherhood has had to learn to adjust to change that has felt more like loss. So, to have my two children all to myself was a gift. My age and experience gives me the wisdom to know that the gift was a temporary pleasure and a gift that may never again be repeated. Brittne is on her way back to Peru; Bryce is back with his wife and unborn child in Fort Worth. In the future, Dwayne, or my children’s spouses, and/or my grandchildren will probably be present when we are together. I know all too well that I may never have three days with only my two children again! So, I must confess that I savored every minute of the weekend . . . even when they were doing their ‘oh, mother’, eye rolling thing! lol
     Dwayne and I learned early in our marriage that you can never relive moments in time. We experienced a wonderful Sunday school class when we were young parents. We were all close and spent many hours a week together on top of the time we spent together at church. It was a special family of friends. We have never experienced a body of friends like that since. We are still close to a few from that group but many we have lost touch with. When we were Montana, we had an amazing prayer group. We will never be able to recreate that particular group again. I once had a job that my CEO had the same viewpoint of serving people and looking for ministry opportunities that I did. I will probably never find that unity in spirit with any other CEO or at another job.
     Change is a part of life. There is nothing you can do to stop it. When you are going through the valleys of life you pray for change; when you are hanging out on the mountain top you try chaining yourself to a tree to keep from having to leave the beautiful view you are soaking up! No matter if you are on the mountain top or in the valley, you will experience change. It is what makes the seasons of life. Some of us live where the seasons change every day and some live where they seldom change; but they do change!
     Are you living on a mountain top or a valley during this season of life? If you’re on the mountain top, savor it while it lasts and do not grow an entitlement attitude with God that you deserve to stay there. If you are in a valley, be encouraged that this season of life will pass and you will make it to the mountain top for refreshment to your soul. We grow in the valleys and regenerate on the mountain top. We need both in our life which is why we can be thankful for both because both come to us through the never ending love of God!

He refreshes and restores my life (my self); He leads me in the paths of righteousness (uprightness and right standing with Him - - not for my earning it, but) for His name’s sake. Yes, though I walk through the (deep, sunless) valley of the shadow of death, I will fear (no dread) no evil, for You are with me; Your rod (to protect) and Your staff (to guide), they comfort me.

Psalm 23:3-4

Equal?

     Yesterday, I enjoyed a day I would have never experienced without my son. As many of you know I am in Birmingham, Alabama with my son, seeing my daughter from Peru. Brittne is in the states to be in a wedding for a friend she served with in Peru. She had some wedding obligations yesterday morning and Bryce couldn’t stand not doing anything. So, after hurrying me out the door, he declared we were going to the Civil Rights Institute in downtown Birmingham. He is like his dad; he likes museums. However, he is like his mama in how he travels through them. He doesn’t have to read every word written inside the museum, unlike his dad! Overall, I can’t say I learned very many new things. I have seen how blacks were treated and I have seen many films and pictures showing the discrimination. However, the museum did give me a new understanding and appreciation for the injustice given to other humans by those of the same skin color as myself. I must admit, there were some moments I felt a little embarrassed about being white. Three things made an impact on my heart and will never fade away. First, I will remember the face of a thirtyish black man. We were standing at a wall and reading some events on a time line. We were looking at the same wall, reading the same words but you could see by his face that they had a greater impact on him. He had a better reference point than I did; he had lived it himself! A few walls away, the story of Rosa Park was displayed. I think we all know her story: a black woman on a segregated bus that refused to give up her seat to a white person. However, she was just an average black woman; forty-two year old seamstress. She had just had enough and she was sick of being wronged and stood, or should I say, sat her ground! She was arrested and charged. She had no way of knowing how things would turn out. She did not know that she would spur others to boycott the buses, or spur 7 men to take freedom rides against the segregation laws, or that she would be the center of national headlines. She did not know that she would become famous, win a Supreme Court decision, become a civil rights leader, or receive the Presidential Medal of Freedom Award from President Clinton. For all she knew she would be beaten or killed. She was just one person who took a stand, but one who changed a country for generations. She made an impact on others and on me. The last impact I experienced was spiritually. All the anger, fear, bitterness, physical abuse, piety, and belittling words and actions were not just from whites, but from white Christians! What we do in the name of Christianity sometimes is a disgrace! How God can stand to watch His children sometimes is beyond me!
     I feel relieved that each generation erases a little more discrimination towards black people. Do I think we still have some ways to go, YES! However, we are at least going in the right direction. However, we discriminate against people of all color. I wish we could judge each other by the person's heart and not what we see on the outside. As we walked out of the museum there were words; questions on the walls. Let me ask you some of the same questions. What impact has discrimination had on you? When do you discriminate? What qualities do you use to judge a person? When have you experienced being judged by an external fact? When have you stood for what is right, no matter the cost? Our society still needs people who are willing to take a stand for Jesus and for what is right! Are you ready to take a stand no matter what the consequence?

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.

Philippians 2:3